Stop Looking For Your 'Purpose'
Especially in your mind.
It seems the most obvious thing to do, and yet it’s crazy!
I’ve been there. Have you? Endlessly journaling, thinking hard, asking myself over and over again in many different ways, “What am I supposed to be doing?”. I go at it again and again, writing notes, researching paths. Some moments feel good, and then I come back to it a day later and wonder what they hell I’ve been doing.
And so the cycle repeats. Does that sound familiar to you?
Come on, confession, how many notes do you have that tie back to your purpose? I bet they’re scattered everywhere!
It’s insane. It literally follows Einstein’s definition of insanity, ‘doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.’
So, stop! Stop! Stop!
And let me ask you a question:
‘How do you feel about yourself when you’re on this endless search for your purpose?’
Do you jump for joy as you scribble and search? Or does it feel like your body is contorting in twists and turns in desperation to find a shape that fits?
It’s fingernails on blackboard stuff, isn’t it? Internal screeching and screaming and stressing every sinew and for what?
In the boardroom, we call this 'Analysis Paralysis'—and it’s as fatal for a company’s strategy as it is for a leader’s vitality. You’re spinning wheels while the world moves on.
And so what is this purpose you speak of? Is it in the room with you now?
Hold fire, I’m playing. Because, ironically, it is.
Think of it this way, like a little Zen Koan. You spend all these years looking for your purpose, as if the ‘you’ you are in search of is not already there.
‘It’s already there?’ Yes! So what’s all the searching for?
Ready? To stop you having to live up to what’s already there.
You can’t be you, if instead of being you, you’re searching for you. The searching is a super ego defense mechanism.
Got it?
Let’s flip the script.
I write about this in my book Breakthrough.
Think of the times in your life when you were just effortlessly you. In the flow, in the zone, loving it.
That’s the feeling you want, right? And so, did you need to ‘search’ for it?
No! It was there all along!
That’s your purpose.
And here’s where it trips you (and me!) up.
Purpose is a ‘how’. You’re looking for a ‘what’.
How do you feel in those energy lifting moments?
How are you being? Funny? Competitive? Courageous? Helpful? Passionate?
These are the things you love to do. This is where your purpose resides.
‘What’ is a vehicle for purposeful expression.
You can’t find ‘What’ in a journal.
‘What’ comes through experimentation, until you find something that allows you to express the ‘how.’
Let’s try this on.
If you love being funny, performing, and helping; maybe you could try comedy, or executive coaching, or social work.
If you love analysis and calculation, try coding, math, accounting, data analysis, and other such things.
Got it?
So when you begin to stress about what you should be doing, instead remember how you are being when you’re naturally being ‘yourself.’ Then go and find places where you can express that being.
Still unsure?
Nobody says it better than the other Joe:
Got it now? Good. Let’s end on a little exercise to get things moving, because doing is greater than dwelling:
Identify one time in your life where you were effortlessly ‘you.’ What was it? And how were ‘you’ being? Helpful? Determined? Passionate? Still? Sweating? Take that feeling, and find one place where you can express it before the end of the week.
Good luck, and let me know what you choose.
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